Picture this, you’ve finally managed to arrange a babysitter. You and your partner are headed out for that long awaited date night. You’ve heard amazing things about a new restaurant in town. You’re seated and the waiter comes to tell you about the specials of the day. They say, “Tonight’s special is a smelly fish that someone caught in a lake around here. It has some slimy sauce on it and yucky vegetable on the side that smells gross.” Would you eat it? I’m pretty sure I would pass and, if you know me, you know I love food and will try just about anything. Now lets change the language of that special to this “Tonight’s special is a locally sourced walleye that is pan fried and dusted with Almond Flour, topped with Pecan Butter Sauce and roasted Brussel sprouts.” That sounds absolutely delicious. Same foods. Different words.
We were all likely told growing up were told that if we can’t say something nice about someone don’t say anything at all. Well, the same is true with how we talk about food. Kids will often describe new and non preferred foods with negative adjectives such as “yucky, slimy, smelly, etc.” It is our job as parents and caregivers to reframe those thoughts and the words associated with them. Our goal should be to flip the script so the words used are descriptive, not negative, or at the very least neutral. You don’t need to lie about it all you need to do is tell the truth. We’ve talked about the importance of the senses while eating, but to remind you they are sight, smell, sound, touch and taste and this is an opportunity to put words to all the senses you use with eating.
When they look at the fish you put on their plate and say “eww that’s yucky and slimy I don’t like it and I’m not going to eat it.” You say, “yep, it’s new and something we need to learn more about. Right now we aren’t going to worry about eating it. We are just going to talk about it. It’s white and has pepper on it. Let’s smell it. Oh, yep. It smells like fish. Let’s touch it. It’s warm just like your chicken nuggets when we eat them. Wow, it feels soft, kind of like bread or pancakes. I’m going to put some on my tongue and see what it tastes like. It tastes different than your chicken but I taste the salt and pepper. We could even dip it in ketchup or ranch dressing just like you do with your chicken.”
Keep in mind, whenever we talk with our kids we want to avoid using too many words. You want to generally try to use as many words as they do in an utterance. This means the above example would work for a school age kiddo who has lots to say. But for littles, keep it simple and only a couple words at a time. For example, you give your 2 year old fish and they cry and say “yucky.” You can say things like “it’s fish, yummy fish, it’s new, fish white, fish warm, mama kiss it, dada lick it, 2 touch/kiss/lick/taste/bite then all done.”
If this sounds too easy to work, let me tell you, it matters. Words matter, not only what you say but how you say them.
Happy eating!
Tricia