Well, here it is, the last month of the summer. I don’t know about you all but this was going to be my summer of doing all the things. We were going to do projects, travel, have amazing experiences and Pinterest like moments that my kids would remember for a lifetime. I was going to be the person that made it look completely effortless. You know, having a family, a career and a spotless home ready to entertain at a moment’s notice. Well guess what, it didn’t happen. Instead I look at the massive list of things to do before the kids go back to school and think of all the things we should have done but didn’t. As I get ready to beat myself up I hear the voice of my beloved grandma Laura in the back of my head saying “Tricia, don’t should on yourself.”
As parents we want only the best for our kids. We worry that what we do or don’t do will scar them for life and it is all our fault. I should have breastfed longer, I should have made my own baby food, I should have done baby led weaning, I should have been a stay at home parent, I should have worked outside the home, I should have allowed less screen time, I should have said no more, I should have said yes more, I should, I should, I should. Well, I challenge us all to stop “should-ing” on ourselves. Instead, think of all the things you did do. Turn the “should haves” into the “I dids”. I did make sure my child was fed, I did assure they were growing, I did show them that they can work outside the home and be a parent, I did show them that they can choose to be home with their families, I did show them that some screen time is okay, I did show them that boundaries are important, I did give them the things they needed in that moment. I did say “I love you” every day. I did watch when they said (10, 000 times) “hey mom watch me, watch me, watch me.” For me, my summer “I did” list includes I did help my two teens get jobs. I did help teach them how to open a bank account. I did make some of their favorite meals that we ate together around the table enjoying each other’s company. I did show them that parenting is an action word and even the little moments are important.
As this crazy summer comes to a close I challenge each of you to make a daily “I did” list. I did get out of bed. I did brush my teeth. I did stop and read a book with my kids. I did let the dishes sit in the sink and play with my kids. I did let the kids pour their own milk. I did mop up the milk they spilled while learning to pour. I did do that pesky speech homework. Every single moment is worth celebrating even if it isn’t a Pinterest moment or the perfect 4 course meal that your entire family will eat happily and enjoy without a single complaint.
Parenting. The hardest job you’ll ever love!
Be strong, be patient and be kind to yourself,
-Tricia